Mass Ineffective
by Bill on Mar.13, 2012, under Rant, Video Games
Mass Effect. Up until last night it was probably my favorite series on this generation of consoles. It was even slightly beating out Uncharted. Both of these series have one strike against them, and that being the third game in the series. Uncharted’s was beautiful, but too short, and anti-climatic. Mass Effect’s was also too short with a giant fuck you of an ending. OK, maybe not too short. It took me about 25 hours to get there. That’s pretty good by today’s standards.
Let’s start with a little background. I picked up Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2 almost at the same time. They were on clearance at Target for some ridiculously cheap price. 14 bucks a pop. I love Target. I started playing Mass Effect, but got kinda bored initially. The citadel opening seemed to be a lot of running back and forth, and the story hadn’t pulled me in yet. People had said it was a good game, so a few months later I got back in there and pushed forward and found a game I really enjoyed. It ended, and it ended like A New Hope did in the sense that it could stand on its own and didn’t necessarily need that sequel. However like all things that are financially successful, some guy in an office somewhere wants to keep exploiting it. Hence, Mass Effect 2.
I actually re-played Mass Effect, making some different decisions and trying to go for a more successful ending. I was able to import my character back into the game, which gave me an edge at getting paragon points and allowed me to make the decision that would eventually save Wrex towards the end. I sacrificed Kaidan (and never thought twice about that decision), and killed Saren again, did all the side quests and got all the DLC stuff (I hate DLC, that rant is later).
I assumed Mass Effect 2 would pick right up off where the first left off. There I was, back aboard the Normandy, with my trusty companions and friends that I made from the first game. Awesome, I thought, and was happy to see this wasn’t going to be one of those sequels where everything you worked for in the last one would be wiped out and you start off in nothing but a diaper. Oh wait, what’s that ship that’s coming towards us? FUCK, NO, THEY BLEW UP THE NORMANDY! Goddammit, maybe not. Oh wait, I’m dead. Oh wait, I’m not dead. Oh fuck, I’m Cerberus! I’ve been dead/missing for a year, and now there are robots trying to kill me, and all those people I mindlessly wasted for being part of Cerberus in the first game are suddenly my buddies. Also lucky for me that some of my crew joined up with Cerberus so at least I’ll have some familiar faces, but none of the killing machines I worked so hard to build up in the first game. I’m okay with all of this, and merrily went on my quest to gain new crew members and gain the loyalty of this whole new crew. Everyone loves me at the end, I make a few attempts at the final mission until I get it right and everyone survives and I am ready for part 3. I download all the subsequent DLC and I think I’m ready for the final battle.
In walks Mass Effect 3. Again, all my loyal crew people are no longer with me, since I’m in some deep shit due to all the Cerberus stuff, even though I defeated the Collectors and saved the galaxy again. I’m off to run around the galaxy, this time getting entire civilizations to devote themselves to the war effort and the shared impending doom of the Reaper menace. Happiest moment was being re-united with Liara, my sexy blue girlfriend in all 3 of the games. I resisted Miranda in the second one, just because I thought I’d be a douchebag for video game cheating on Liara. Garrus is back, who was always my right hand man since game 1. A few new guys. A prothean (which I didn’t realize was a DLC thing, and part of the collectors edition). In the end, it’s way less people compared to the 12 I had in game 2, but they’re good people and it works. I unite all the races. I heal the Krogans. I free the Geth. The Quarians get their home back. Everything is turning up Milhouse, now we just gotta deal with these Reaper assholes. We have this great McGuffin of a weapon that the Protheans (and every other high tech race in the past cycles has contributed to), and we will fuck these guys up. I will go home and make cute blue babies with my darling Liara and drink mint fucking juleps with Garrus on a beach watching the tide roll in and out.
Spoilers after the cut.
China’s Golden Apple
by Bill on Feb.28, 2012, under Rant
Lots of talk about China lately and the roles that American business have played in developing China, while pretty much ignoring home.
Apple comes out and says “Even if we wanted to move things back here, the infrastructure just doesn’t exist.”
And to that I call bullshit. Bull fucking shit.
China’s manufacturing architecture didn’t just spring out of the ground. It was an investment the Chinese made in their country to bring business to them. It is immensely profitable (to the owners, not the workers, ugh) and they did it for a reason. The thing that pisses me off about this so much is that Apple has the fucking nerve to make it sound like it’s something that has always been there and it was the right move for them to put their beans in that basket.
Don’t act like you’re doing the Chinese a big favor here, Apple. You’re really just deflecting the responsibility you were supposed to take in helping your own country grow. Not just your fucking stockholders. Instead of investing in the future of America, with a manufacturing infrastructure and a way to create a more educated workforce, you took the fucking easy way out in the name of greed.
I hope you get your asses nailed to the wall. I hope the Chinese eventually rise up and demand better pay and benefits. I hope in doing so, they really fuck up your manufacturing schedule and I hope your stockholders actually have the balls to rub your fat fucking faces in it.
You want us to keep buying your shit, well where’s your loyalty to us? Where’s your loyalty to the country that is almost solely responsible for your overall success?
It’s time to bring that shit home, Apple. Make the investment in the culture that made the investment in you. One who forgets his roots, will quickly find himself uprooted.
In a world where Global manufacturing is important, you can still utilize those Asian factories for that side of the world, but I’m sick of seeing “Designed in California, Made in China” on the back up your products. I want to see “Designed in California, Made in Texas” or Alabama, or Oregon, or fucking anywhere in this country. We have the space. We have the people. Invest in us.
The Worst Conservatives
by Bill on Jan.30, 2012, under Rant
I’m not shy about my beliefs. I think the bulk of conservatives are idiots. Most of this relates to social conservatives, as I think the term “social conservative” is a politically correct means to declare oneself a racist while avoiding the much deserved criticism of being a racist. I can understand fiscal conservancy. I think a government should be run within its means, and I think social programs can and need to be a part of that. Everyone just does it wrong, and that’s why we’re always in the middle of some crisis.
But this rant isn’t about me. It’s called “The Worst Conservative”. I don’t think I’ve made it a secret that I hate most Star Wars fans. I love Star Wars, but other Star Wars fans annoy the piss out of me. Most of them are excessively whiny and complain about everything so much that you have to wonder why they’re even Star Wars fans at all. I hate the association. I have to tell people “I’m not like them, they’re idiots”. This brings me to the topic at hand… The Conservative Star Wars fan.
These are morons who like to throw in a thinly veiled “liberal” insult into their posts. For example, here’s a gem from some moron this morning on the Rebelscum forums:
“ I asked to speak to the Toy Dept Manager and received a “Managers only work during the day” response from a near-clueless employee who looked as though he was an “occupy” protestor in his off-time, but I digress.“
This guy obviously has a sense of entitlement that would make any welfare recipient blush with embarrassment. The Walmart employee who makes 7.35 an hour is offensive to this person, and therefore is probably some kind of occupier. Not ignoring the fact that this entitled douchebag is probably a fat wookiee himself, he goes on to request a manager because the toys he came in super early to buy weren’t on the pegs yet, and they should be. For him. Now. Meeeeeeeeee! Wahhhhhhh!
Comments like these are common. I think it’s actually funny though. Let’s look at the facts about Star Wars. Starting off, George Lucas is a giant liberal douche. Huge. The entire Star Wars franchise is soaked with liberalism. You have a band of rebels (occupiers) fighting off a fascist regime. You have villains that are members of a Trade Federation and a Banking Clan. A Banking Clan. You have an evil politician named Lott Dodd. The more you disassemble the franchise, the more of these subtle and not-so-subtle revelations turn up.
And then you have morons like this guy who are dumping tons of cash into it. As “conservative” as he wants to be, he’s been feeding the liberal Hollywood machine most of his life. Every year he pumps thousands of dollars into George’s liberal cash cow, completely oblivious to it, all the while making snarky comments on issues he heard from Limbaugh or Fox News. He has indoctrinated his children into it, and the cycle will continue. He’s not learning anything, and odds are his kids will be ignorant trash like he is, but for the rest of the liberals, he is supporting their causes and buying into our ideology. That’s why he’s the “worst conservative”. Not because of his conservatism (not totally at least), but because he’s too fucking stupid to realize that he’s been funding the liberal media, and willfully continues to do so, probably to the tune of several thousand dollars a year. More than he’ll blow on the trash novels of Glenn Beck. More than he’ll donate to the RNC.
And to this I say, thank you stupid Conservative. Thank you for being an ignorant fuck and supporting all the things you casually mock. We don’t need you, but we’ll take your money. <3
So maybe I was a little hasty…
by Bill on Jan.24, 2012, under Rant
I can make time for this. I feel like I should be able to have a voice somewhere, and frankly I’d rather host it, rather than leave it to Tumblr or Blogger.
In the end, what the fuck do I care if anyone reads this or not?
Back to reality. I moved all my domains off of GoDaddy to NameCheap. I actually have one more domain to go, but it’s for a buddy’s business. I have to wait till the 60 day period hits, and then I can move it. GoDaddy’s SOPA support was the final drop in the bucket. From a technical standpoint, their website was also ass slow. The interface was good, but slow. I understand they probably do a pretty high volume, and if that’s the case, time to up your bandwidth. The other issue is their bullshit sexist marketing. Don’t get me wrong, I like boobs and all that, but I don’t think boobs are a good tool to sell domains, and I don’t think exploiting (can I use that word if she’s willingly letting it happen?) one of the only female players in a male dominated “sport” (entirely different rant there) is a good means to a fiscal end. Danica Patrick, you can do better. I don’t expect athletes to be role models like most people seem to, but I think when you have a woman in a male dominated field and were interested in maybe encouraging other young women to take an interest, you might not want to make yourself a piece of ass for a tech company. The owner of GoDaddy is a major shit. Dude killed an elephant for sport, and then made up all this bullshit so he doesn’t look like a douche. I’m not anti-hunting, but I am anti-hunting for sport. Unless you’re eating that elephant and using its hide to make all your living room furniture because you have no other options left for food or furniture, then you better leave that poor fucking elephant alone. I don’t want my money going to support your sexism, or your fat over-entitled 1% ego. Fuck you, GoDaddy. Fuck you.
So far NameCheap is anti-sopa, aren’t trying to lure me in with pretty girls, and I haven’t heard about their management/owners killing any endangered species. Win? Win.
Twitter Updates for 2011-12-06
by Bill on Dec.06, 2011, under Uncategorized
- VNV at Waterstreet March 9th. #
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Twitter Updates for 2011-12-05
by Bill on Dec.05, 2011, under Uncategorized
- From watching movies that take place in the 70's, I imagine everything smelled like an ash tray. #
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Twitter Updates for 2011-12-03
by Bill on Dec.03, 2011, under Uncategorized
- Time Warner bill jumped from 136 to 144. Time to make the call and cancel TV. Fuck that shit. #
- I love donuts. I will stab someone in the face for donuts. #
- Scribblenauts is awesome. Serial killer looks like Dexter. Just had God flying on the back of Cthulhu fighting zombies. #
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Twitter Updates for 2011-12-02
by Bill on Dec.02, 2011, under Uncategorized
- I love it when I can troll people enough so they block me. I win. #
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Twitter Updates for 2011-12-01
by Bill on Dec.01, 2011, under Uncategorized
- Starting out your day by cleaning up rabbit blood and snake poop apparently leads to a productive morning. #
- Want to cockpunch the douche who invented CAPTCHA. #
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Twitter Updates for 2011-11-30
by Bill on Nov.30, 2011, under Uncategorized
- Buff Pug finally cashed my check. The dogs are mine! #
- Yay FX. 5 minutes of show. 5 minutes of commercials. This is why I usually download it the next day. #
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